


Day 5: AU Friday

by birdbrainberke



Series: Zason Oneshots [5]
Category: Power Rangers (2017)
Genre: M/M, Sex Robots, Zason, Zason Week, because of course, trimberly (which ao3 really want to add words to idek)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-29
Updated: 2017-07-29
Packaged: 2018-12-08 09:13:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,336
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11643471
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/birdbrainberke/pseuds/birdbrainberke
Summary: Zack wakes up with a hangover and a naked man in a box, which would be fine if the naked man weren’t a robot.





	Day 5: AU Friday

**Author's Note:**

> _**[Zason Week](https://zasonweek2017.tumblr.com/) \- Day 5: AU Friday.** Shower us with your favourite AU settings. Coffee shop AU, college AU, the options are limitless._
> 
> Okay, since this whole week has been AU for me, I’m playing it fast and loose with AU here. Let’s call it a Billy’s-an-evil-scientist-who-makes-sex-robots-and-Zack-accidentally-gets-one AU. I mean, they’re not rangers, so it works I guess?
> 
> This, btw, was the unholy result of my love of Absolute Boyfriend (the ending STILL PISSES ME OFF) and my new obsession, My Girlfriend’s Boyfriend.
> 
> (Also, it's late, so I should have edited this but I didn't.)

Zack woke to a throbbing headache and the achy feelings that came from a night of too much drinking. He considered staying in bed for the rest of the day--he didn’t have anywhere to be, and Trini would probably be fine cancelling their coffee date--but as the headache got worse, he needed drugs to stop the pounding.

He headed toward the bathroom and took the pills before he processed something sitting in his small living room in front of the coffee table.

He shuffled through the hall back to the living room, where he found a large box with a red bow on top.

“The hell…” he muttered to himself as he carefully approached.

That had definitely not been there before he left to pick up Trini, and unless he was so blackout drunk that he forgot putting a huge box in his apartment, that hadn’t been there when he’d gotten home.

So what the hell was it?

The box was chest-high, and a large tag attached to the bow hung down the side. “Zack Taylor,” it said, followed by a blue logo that he didn’t recognize.

Curiosity made Zack ignore the possibility that the box would explode--and really, he reasoned, why would anyone try to blow up his shitty apartment?--and he slowly untied the bow.

The box was apparently rigged to fall open by itself; as soon as the bow was untied, the sides of the box unfolded and revealed, to Zack’s confusion, a naked man.

“The fuck!?”

The man was sitting cross legged, eyes closed, and perfectly still despite Zack yelling, and Zack wasn’t sure what to do except grab the nearest object--it turned out it was a pillow--and hold it over his head.

“Who are you?”

The man didn’t react, and Zack tapped him with the pillow once before he opened his eyes.

As soon as he saw Zack, he stood up with unnatural ease and looked Zack up and down. “You must be Zack,” he said, and he smiled, which was distracting because he was impossibly attractive. “I’m Jason. It’s a pleasure.”

He extended his hand, and Zack held the pillow up as he stared at the hand and debating hitting the man.

“Seriously, who the fuck are you?”

The man cocked his head to the side in confusion. “I’m Jason,” he said again. “Are you Zack?”

Zack’s eyes narrowed, and he backed up a couple steps. “Yes. And _why_ are you _here_?”

Zack began wondering if this man was unable to process basic questions, but he was still more concerned with why he was there. And why he had been in a box. And why he was naked.

“I was delivered to you early this morning. I’m your perfect boyfriend!”

Zack’s eyes narrowed further. “My...perfect boyfriend…” Jason nodded, face stretched into a wide smile.

Zack considered what he should do. He should call the police, but the man didn’t seem immediately dangerous. Crazy, probably, but unarmed, since Zack could see no weapons strapped to his very naked body.

_Maybe he’ll attack me when my guard is down,_ he thought. _Maybe he’s a trained assassin or something?_

Zack was aware that there was no reason a trained assassin should be naked in his apartment, because he hadn’t done anything necessitating assassination.

And trying to rob someone by hiding naked in a box and waiting to be discovered didn’t make much sense.

“Trini…” he muttered, dropping the pillow and heading to grab his phone from his room. “Of course that Hobbit would do something stupid like this…”

Jason was staring at Zack with fascination, and Zack just smiled back sarcastically as he called Trini.

Trini didn’t answer on the first try, or on the second, and though Zack knew she was just as hungover as he was, he didn’t care. He tried two more times before she answered with curses and a long groan.

“The fuck, homeboy?”

“The fuck?” Zack repeated, looking at Jason with eyes wide. “When the fuck’d you have time to do this while white-girl drunk?”

“Whaa?”

“The present? The naked dude? I mean, good job picking him out, but _seriously_ girl?”

“Zack, the hell are you on about?” Trini asked, now more awake though still obviously groggy.

“The guy? In my apartment? With the penis just hanging everywhere?” Zack wasn’t sure how much longer Trini would play dumb, but it was getting old very fast.

“Homeboy, are you still drunk?” Trini asked slowly, and Zack had to resist the urge to throw his phone.

“I’m three seconds from calling the cops, so tell me what’s going on or he gets his ass arrested.”

Jason was frowning, Zack was close to hysterics, and Trini was silent as she stumbled out of bed and started walking through her apartment.

“Zack, go back to bed,” she said. “You musta hit your head or som--”

She stopped abruptly, and Zack waved his hands in an aggressive circle, as if she could see his prompt to continue.

“Yo, Trin,” he said eventually, then he tried a second time before he was interrupted with a loud shriek in his ear.

“Oh my god there’s a naked girl here Zack what the _fuck_!?”

\------

After Trini discovered her own naked human, Zack believed that she was as clueless as he was.

He’d been on the phone with her when her human, Kimberly, had introduced herself and said that she was, like Jason, designed to be Trini’s perfect match.

Actually, Kimberly had said “built,” and after several minutes of listening to Trini go through the same process Zack had, they were more confused than when they’d started.

“Imma find her some clothes then drag her ass to your place so we can figure this out. See you in…uh… See you soon.”

Zack was nervous while he waited on Trini, and every time Jason asked if he could help--“I could give you a massage if you want. I’ve been programmed to ensure you have a happy ending each time.”--Zack texted Trini.

It started simply ( _Hurry up crazy girl_ ) and quickly escalated ( _dude save me he won’t stop trying to grope me!!!!_ ) until Zack was just sending rapid-fire emojis, and when Zack heard a knock at his door he practically leapt across his apartment to answer it.

When he opened the door, he expected a short Mexican girl, not a lanky black man in an aggressively vibrant shirt.

“Zack Taylor!” the man said, clapping Zack on the shoulder and walking past him into the apartment without an invite. “Ah! I see you found your--”

He stopped short as Jason, still fully naked, stood up and waved at him. “Yes, um, _package_. Right. Okay.” He diverted his eyes as he composed himself, and Jason, still waiting for a response, waved at Zack instead.

“Not to be rude,” Zack said, punctuating _rude_ to prove a point, “but who the hell are you?”

“Billy?” the man said, his face suggesting Zack should already know. “Billy Cranston? We met last night. Us and your friend Trini?”

Zack narrowed his eyes and looked from Billy to Jason and back again. “So this is your doing?”

Billy nodded excitedly, and he clapped his hands together as if he were celebrating something. “I guess you two were pretty drunk. We really need to figure out a solution for that… People shopping drunk, forgetting their purchases… Though I suppose in some way it makes people more willing to buy because they can’t talk themselves out of it so I guess it’s okay?” By now he was talking solely to himself, and Zack wasn’t sure what he’d say even if he interrupted. “But if everyone’s as confused as you, then that’s not great for business.”

“Business?” Zack asked, and Billy nodded when he remembered that Zack was there.

“Yeah! Business!” he said, and he produced a business card with the same logo Zack had seen on the box. “CRAN Industries, the front for--” he gestured toward Jason “--well, for this.”

“For a naked man...in a box...in my living room?”

Billy nodded as if this weren’t a strange question.

“So I’m sensing that you don’t remember anything about last night,” Billy said, and Zack shook his head dumbly. “You purchased Jason here after...extensive customization.”

“Purchased?”

“To be your perfect boyfriend?” Billy cocked his head to one side. “You _really_ don’t remember anything…”

Zack shook his head again, and he watched as Billy lifted up one of the sides of Jason’s box, tore open a packet that Zack hadn’t seen before, and produced a book with Jason’s name and picture next to the blue logo.

Zack took it from Billy, and he had to sit down as he looked through the book.

It was a manual, apparently for the JASON model of CRAN’s line of robotic partners.

“He’s a sexbot?” Zack asked, unsure of how he got to the point that he even needed to ask that question.

Billy nodded excitedly and clapped his hands again, but then he added, “Well, we prefer ‘android partner’ or ‘technologically optimized companion’. ‘Sexbot’ just sounds weird.”

Zack didn’t know what to say next, but he was saved by a knock at the door. “Thank god…” he muttered as he ran to open it, and he found Trini standing next to a confused looking girl he assumed was her sexbot Kimberly.

“Why does she keep saying she was made to please me?” Trini asked, her face deadpan.

The robot nodded and began to respond, but Zack grabbed them both and dragged them into the apartment.

“Billy’ll explain...I think…” Zack said as pulled the sexbot and Trini into the living room, ignoring her when she asked him who Billy was.

He was expecting answers, or at least a civil if not headache-inducing conversation.

He wasn’t expecting a high shriek squeal from Billy or loud curses from the robots.

“I told you to keep them separate!” Billy said, alternating between waving his hands and covering his face as Kimberly dislodged her arm from Zack’s grip and stalked toward Jason.

“Who the hell are you?” Trini asked him as she tried to catch up, “and why the _hell_ is that dude naked?”

Trini pointed at Jason, and only then did Zack process that he hadn’t found Jason any clothes.

Before he could answer, Kimberly turned to Trini, now apparently less interested in killing Jason. “Should I be naked? I wish to please you.”

Without waiting for a response, she stripped, and Zack found himself with two naked robots, a confused and slightly angry best friend, and a panicked stranger who seemed to be responsible for this whole mess.

“Homeboy, did we do drugs I’m forgetting about?” Trini asked as she sunk down into the couch.

“No, apparently, we bought sex robots?”

“‘Technologically optimized companions,’” Billy corrected, and Zack just gave Trini a defeated shrug.

“Okay, you,” Zack said, pointing vaguely at Billy, “explain. Like everything, because I’m lost here.”

Billy eyed the two robots nervously--they were still glaring at each other--but when Zack cleared his throat loudly, he started talking.

Zack and Trini had, apparently, found their way into Billy’s store, where Zack had hit on him shamelessly until Billy showed him a pamphlet with Jason’s picture on it. Zack had responded positively (“I think you said something like ‘I’d hit that so hard your abuelita will feel it.’”), Trini had lamented that he had all the luck, and Billy had showed her Kimberly.

(“‘She could tie me to abuelita’s grave and stab me in the face and I’d be down for it,’ I think is how you put it.”)

They hadn’t questioned Billy when he gave them tablets and told them to customize their perfect mates, and they hadn’t objected when he told them that their partners would be delivered to them later that night.

Zack didn’t recall much, but Trini seemed to have flashes of recollection, and as she looked from Kimberly to Billy and back again, she was nodding slowly.

“It happened…?” Zack asked her, and she nodded in confirmation, her face a mix of horror and wonder.

“We bought sexbots?”

“They’re ‘Technologically--’”

“‘Optimized sex toys, yeah, we get it, but dude, the _fuck_?” Zack sat down next to Trini and ran his fingers nervously through his hair. Jason noticed and found this more important that staring down Kimberly, because he hurried over, sat on the back of the couch, and began rubbing Zack’s shoulders.

“Let me help you,” he said, and when Zack looked up at him, he just smiled broadly.

This prompted Kimberly to kneel down at Trini’s feet, pull off her boots, and start massaging her feet.

“Oh my god, girl, we bought _sexbots_...”

“That shit can’t be cheap,” Trini said, as if that were their biggest concern, but Zack nodded, blankly looking around his apartment and wondering just how much he’d spent on his own personal robot.

“Oh! I know this one!” Billy said, excitedly clapping again. “You’re part of our test program, so it’s free in exchange for data so we can optimize them and improve their performance!”

“Or,” Trini said, pulling her foot away from Kimberly and looking at Billy, “how about I return her and invest in extensive therapy to forget this mess?”

Kimberly’s eyes went wide with horror, and Zack looked at Jason and realized that, despite his painfully good looks, Jason needed to go. But Billy was shaking his head, and Zack felt his stomach sink.

“Oh no. They’re custom, one of a kind, can’t be recycled. You can’t return them. But…” He trailed off, grabbed Jason’s manual, and flipped to a page near the back.

He passed the open book to Zack, who took it, looked down, and instantly felt his face heat up. Trini peered over, and Zack saw her mouth drop open. “Holy shit, homeboy… That is a feature...”

“Trust me,” Billy said, smirking in a way that Zack found extremely unsettling. “You won’t wanna return them.”

**Author's Note:**

> I feel like I need to continue this? But I have no plot. But who needs plot when you have sexbots...?


End file.
